5.23.2005

The problems with Star Wars

I lost my stupid post. Netscape decided to crash on me. GRRRRRR!!!

I was almost done with the review too. Here we go again. Before reading, this review does give away some plot for those who haven't see the movie. You may not want to read further. Many people have talked about how great the movie was. People that participate in this little blog ring that we have even have jumped on the bandwagon with comments like 'within a hairsbreadth of the original trilogy' and "9.5 out of 10'. These people need to rethink especially that second one who was clearly on something when he rated the movie like that.

Here are is my review. My first problem: the storyline was horrible. Lucas had you jumping back and forth everywhere. You never stayed in one place long enough to care. He tried to stuff so many things into the movie that it was too packed. Example: General Grievous. Was he really needed? While he was very cool, he really didn't add anything to the movie plot and took away from other storylines that needed help. He also died quick to imply that he wasn't at all vital to the story. You jumped so much that the characters couldn't be developed full enough.

The dialogue was horrible. Does Lucas know how normal human beings talk to one another? This movie didn't show it. Anakin and Padme? Obi-wan and Anakin? Could it be the acting? Maybe, but even good actors can't do anything with bad lines.

Now a couple of issues with the plot itself. First Padme dying in childbirth. That is completely inconsistent with the original trilogy when Leia talks about remember her mother as a young child. If your mom dies in childbirth, you aren't going to remember her.

Next one. Anakin going to the dark side. Scene: Anakin to Mace Windu. 'Palpatine is the dark Sith lord we are looking for. We need to go get him'. Very next scene. Anakin prevents Windu from killing Palpatine because he now favors Palpatine over Windu. When did this happen? Completely unbelievable. Horrible writing and plot development.

And how about Anaking choking Padme. If he so badly loves her and wants to save here that he is willing to go to the dark side, he wouldn't try to kill her. It makes no sense. The reason he wanted to learn these things, he now will kill? Please.

I have said a lot of bad things about the movie. Let me say some good things. The wookies were awesome. Too bad we couldn't have had them in Episode 6. The effects were very cool and the scenery was done well. The battles and one-on-one fights were awesome. R2D2 kicking some droid butt was rad, man. The one sequence where they switched back and forth in between two fights was awesome. The action in general was very well done. The movie also did not feel like it was long. That is a good thing for a two and a half hour movie. Although I ripped it apart pretty good, I did not think it was a horrible movie. It was a good movie, just not as great as everyone was making it out to be.

I look forward to the comments that will surely rip my review apart. Let it begin...

2 comments:

stephen said...

Dude!

Proteinstar said...

Ummm...you left out Frankenstein Vader, probably the most unforgivable scene in the entire trilogy. Well that scene where Anakin surfs that stupid lard butt sheep in II is probably the worst.

ADD in Star Wars is a tradition, how could he leave it out in III? When has Lucas (in the films he directed personally) ever lingered in one scene. At least he stopped the flatulence jokes.

As for Grievous? Come on, when has Lucas ever allowed a cool villian to live for more than 1 film? And they all die quick. Grand Moff Tarkin, General Veers (off screen), the Rancor, Boba Fett, Darth Maul, Jango Fett, and finally General Grievous.

Yes, Boba survived through 2 films but the Sarlac burping completely destroys any coolness of his death and trumps him having survived 2 films.

Dialogue? Are you serious? This isn't The English Patient, it's Star Wars. But yeah the dialogue sucks. Again G.L couldn't direct himself out of a paper bag.

All in all vastly superior to Episodes I and II. Doesn't touch the Original 3 as a whole. BUT it finally brought back the majesty and epicness that was Star Wars. The battles were big again and the limbs were flying. That is why this one begins to encroach on the nimbus of greatness that is The Original Star Wars Trilogy.