Ponderance

I've been left thinking 'Where do I belong'
Everything that's happened here seems now so wrong
I'm asking the questions I'm not sure I want answers to
In the searching I've found what I'm sure is true

When the flower blooms
When the spring birds tune
All the beauty in your soft warm face
Slowly brings everything into place

All I need and all I want is a paradox to ponder so
To know the end before the beginning removes all the mystery
What seemed so simple may be so wrong
What seems right may not be true
If there's anything I needed to know, it's not easy to see

When the flower blooms
When the spring birds tune
All the beauty in your soft warm face
Slowly brings everything into place

For you to be here is what I would love
Yet not knowing you isn't a reason to grieve
The asking question is so simple to make
It's prodding answer is hard to fake

Reflections of a Quiet Loud Weekend

1. I enjoyed 'The Terminal'
2. Relaxation is a very key word
3. It was nice to wake up around 11
4. Stages take way too long to setup
5. At least rehearsals go easily
6. Friends away skiing should have quite enjoyable times
7. People should call people back
8. Messiah's men basketball team came back and won
9. There were actually people at the game
10. Live jazz is nice and lovely to hear
11. Barbecue Chicken Pizza
12. I could use some good ole' fish n chips
13. 6.30 am is early
14. How did Dunkin' Donuts of all places figure out how to make decent coffee?
15. I need to not be such a perfectionist
16. Naps are wonderful
17. I know the person that was in the middle of the Intelligent Design debate in Dover, PA
18. Why are parents sometimes so impatient?
19. I am confused
20. Wouldn't it be fun every once and a while to act like Statler and Waldorf?
21. I don't always wear a wool cap because I am cold, sometimes I just like wearing it.
22. Ever feel eh, but can't pinpoint why you aren't doing just fine...

Larry the Cable Guy

Recently, I stopped my cable. Some inquiring minds may be curious at this development so I'll give a couple of reasons for it. First off, money is really tight and the extra few bucks a month will make it a little less tight.

That was reason, but I got to admit that it wasn't the main reason. The main reason was that I watched TV too much. It was controlling my schedule in a way. Now I never didn't do something because of a certain TV show, but I just had the TV on too much. This didn't allow for things such as reading books and going to bed at a reasonable time. I didn't like the fact that it had a bit of a grip on my life.

So I cancelled it. Now I get 6 channels all a bit fuzzy and then some weird church channel that doesn't really come in and I am glad for that because the channel scares me a bit. I think that it will be a good thing and free me up to read the 10 or so books that I have backlogged in my living room.

I will miss aspects of cable though. I'll miss most ESPN. I love sports. I love to watch and follow stats and other pieces of information. I am able to do this through the ESPN channels as well as FoxSports. No longer will I be able to do this and I have to admit that I will go through a decent amount of withdrawal. I didn't really think that it was a bad thing that I followed sports either. Anyway, I'll make it and I think in the end, this is a good decision for my well-being. Somewhere down the road, I am sure that I probably will get cable again, but that will be after I have created the good habits of doing many other things rather than watching TV.

I got Soul, but I am not a Soldier

Today I went for another one of the umpteenth interviews over the last umpteenth month of my job search. This interview was unlike any I had ever been on before. I was in 6 different mini-interviews with 19 different people. Now, I can talk fine with people and don't get nervous for interviews, but this was a lot to handle. It's not even that the interviews were hard, it was just a lot. It exhausted me.

I am not really sure how it went. I always talk well at interviews, but haven't had any luck getting a job for a while. So I am not sure that I interview as well as I may think. I wonder if people may be looking for different things than I present at an interview.

Hopefully this time I won't get one of those 'Thanks, but you suck and we didn't like you letters.'

Odd Things Can Happen at 1.30 am

Last night when I should have been sleeping away to dancing twiddlethumbs, I was still quite up. Maybe if I went to bed when I was tired I wouldn't have been up, but I threw logic to the wind. So the next question is why in the world was I up?

I had an epiphany of relaxation. I decided that even though I was tired, I wanted to play my guitar, write some stuff(inspired by a new show, Love Monkey) and relax. Music is very soothing for me and I always enjoy playing away into a world of sonic love and beauty.

It is an odd feeling to be completely relaxed and tired late at night and not wanting to go to bed. Have you ever had those times that you just didn't want to end. They usually involve doing something exciting that isn't done often. This was one of those times for me. It was very simple yet extremely enjoyable. I am very grateful for the time I had. Thanks God

Modern Day Holocaust

The anniversary of Roe v Wade occurred a couple of days ago. I know that this is a hot button issue in our society, but I am going to go here anyway. Do you realize that over 4 million babies have been murdered through abortions since the landmark Supreme Court decision?

I still can't remotely understand how our country has come to find this action to be legal. We have decided that if a person doesn't feel like having a baby, because it's too inconvenient, they are allowed to just kill the baby. What if I decided that I just didn't feel like to have someone around and decided to kill them for it? How would the country respond then? My butt would be in jail.

Try this one on for size. If a pregnant women is murdered, her murderer can be charged with a double homicide for the woman and the fetus, but a fetus can be aborted.

I am absolutely and passionately against this horrible act and believe that it is a huge mark against our modern day society. Hopefully at some point the country will realize what an atrocity this is and overturn it. As for now, all I can do is watch in horror and pray.

Reflections of a Great, Laborious Weekend

1. Ah, the PA turnpike
2. A hymn sing without hymns is an interesting concept
3. City Slickers is a good movie
4. I like sleep
5. Pizza with sausage is good stuff
6. I may have a frou-frou bone in my body
7. Sufjan (Soof-yan) Stevens is an amazing artist
8. No theramin
9. You should call people by their right name
10. I hate moving
11. I was glad to help the lackmeister move
12. Very tiring
13. I should just keep my mouth shut, keeps me out of trouble
14. Hors-Douvres
15. Darts is fun to play
16. I like talking to people
17. Divergent opinions are fun to discuss
18. Chili is good
19. Jerome Bettis' belly is disturbing
20. I don't like the Steelers
21. It was a fumble by the Steelers
22. I hope the Seahawks win the Super Bowl
23. Staying up is late at the time, but hurts later
24. Pitchfork
25. Not everyone likes to talk music
25. Not everyone likes to talk sport
26. Damon's wings aren't bad
27. Damon's atmosphere is great
28. Chilvary is not dead, but not many people want to hear about it
29. It's all about the Dr. Bob
30. Where has the snow gone?
31. Happy Bday to CT
32. Superswede
33. Maybe I'll write a song about #30
34. Ikea

Potential is Sometimes Worth Following

This week a show premiered on CBS called 'Love Monkey.' It has Tom Cavanaugh in it as a budding record executive. He goes around and spots what could be the next good musical act. He also has love life troubles, but that doesn't really matter for me. The music industry part is really what intrigues me. It was an enjoyable first watch, but could fall flat for me if it focused on love lives and not music. I hope they continue to add more music to the show and a better soundtrack.

One of the quotes that really struck me was this one:

I'm not a music snob. I just dislike bad music.

Many of my friends would consider me a music snob. But I am going to go with this quote, because it is really how I feel. I just like to hear good music. I don't care what kind of music it is. Music doesn't have to be in a certain genre for me to like it; it just has to be good. So if I am a music snob, fine.

The Beauty of Life

There is a lot of pain and suffering in the world, but there are also some beautiful things. SM posted one of them this morning in showing a beautiful sunrise. Nature's beauty is amazing. Another one of them is the creation of life. Nothing has been able to hurt the new life's feelings or damage their bones. There is just something wonderful and pure about a womb-living baby.

So in the world of pain, look at the joyful and simply stunning sides of life. They are there, we just have to look at them. And they will make your day better. This made mine better.

What a Bunch of Hogwash

This past weekend when Joey Porter, linebacker of the Steelers, was interviewed, he made some outrageous claims. He was sure that the officials were cheating for the Colts. He said that the NFL wanted the Colts to win and the Steelers to lose and so the officials made up a few calls to help the Colts out. This is a serious accusation. To claim that a game is being fixed by the league undermines everything in sportsmanship and fair sporting competition.

Every time another player or coach has said a similar thing, there has been a swift reaction. Fines, sometimes very heavy, are handed down. Without the integrity of the game, it just become wrestling where everything is fixed. Well, after this outburst by Mr. Porter, what did the league do?

Nothing! They decided not to fine him. Why, when even his coach called his comments ridiculous. I don't know, but I do know that it is outrageous to waffle on this instance. They should fine his happy butt.

Celebrations Galore

I just noticed that I have a post counter on my main login blog page. This is my 200th post. Wow, isn't that exciting? That's what I thought. I didn't find it to be very exciting either. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Shameless Promotion

Nice to listen to. Click here.

Steelers Fan are Such Whiners

As many know, I don't really like the Pittsburgh Steelers. This used to be simply because they were a rival of the Baltimore Ravens, but after today the annoyance has spread. I now no longer like Steelers' fans either. There are a very sparse couple here and there that I don't mind, but overall I don't like Steelers' fans.

Why you ask? They are such big whiners. I have had every Steelers' fan that I have run into today whine to me about the horrible reffing. Did they forget that their team WON the game? It has been non-stop and incessant. Wow, has it been annoying. Whether or not you have a point doesn't matter. Who cares what the reffing was like if you won the game. So please stop.

Reflections of a High School Weekend

1. It was nice to see a lot of snow
2. The stress ended Friday night
3. Fast food, yuck
4. Multiple fractures and a displaced ankle, ouch
5. I'm tired
6. I am doing well
7. The ski conditions on Saturday were horrible
8. It is always nice to get to know people
9. Especially ladies
10. I wish I had seen more snow
11. I don't like to wear glasses
12. Nothing like listening to James Brown
13. I got to play and sing
14. Mmm, coffee
15. Darn Steelers
16. The Patriots finally lost
17. The conference championship games seem a bit boring
18. Guess I should have been paying attention rather than talking
19. Job leads can fizzle so fast
20. Judgments shouldn't be made until you know someone
21. Seven Springs ski resort is a decent size
22. They got a pool, mini-golf, roller skating, bowling, shopping, arcading and a bunch of other stuff
24. I am so fallible, but still used
25. Too busy
26. I wish it would work
27. Kids take up a lot of time
28. We are here to be here for people
29. Darn shoulder
30. I'm rambling; I'll stop

"I always feel better after hugging a cow."

I Hate Stress

This weekend is a winter retreat for church. I am responsible for the technical side of things for the retreat as well as going as a leader. There have been many technical issues that have come up over this past week and it is just a huge headache. I don't even know if it will all work. Anyway it has been a huge headache hanging over the whole week. A retreat that I was looking forward to, I am dreading now. Now I shouldn't worry about it, but nothing is working out easy. Ugh! I dislike being around any forms of stress. Plus my life has been one big stress for the last couple of years. I don't need more. Oh well, somehow it will all work out and I should just calm myself.

Adding to the downer has been the weather. It is hitting 57 today and 58 tomorrow. These are temperatures that are 20 degrees above normal. I love winter and it stinks when the weather is so greatly out of wack. Snow, we need snow. Of course along with this is everyone rubbing my face in the fact that it is warm. They like warm weather so they are glad that the weather is out of wack. And of course they think it is so wonderful. Well, I don't think it is wonderful. I think it stinks. So there.

A Hick is a Hick

Monday evening I had the pleasure of visiting the Pennsylvania Farm Show. This is something that I had never gotten to experience before, but was told it was enjoyable. Now I grew up in the country and got to go to numerous county fairs that seemed to be similar but just on a smaller scale.

It was an experience. They have a food court that has a large selection. Any Pennsylvania food co-operative that you could think of was there. Apple people selling apple cider, potato people selling potato donuts, etc. I had heard good things about the milkshakes sold by the dairy farmers. I was definitely disappointed. Instead of a good milkshake that I expected, I just got soft serve ice cream melted a little bit. That's not a milkshake, so I won't get one of those again. The apple cider was delicious though.

Elsewhere they had animals ranging from goats to cattle to roosters. They also had an area where local family type businesses would sell their goods. This was the gold mine. For everyone to sell their stuff, they had samples for you to try. You could have a meal of all the samples. The chicken corn soup was especially good. It was enjoyable to try many different things.

In the main arena there is always an event going on. That night it was square dancing. After a couple of minutes of watching it and feeling completely like a hick, I left before I might think about buying a cowboy hat and some cowboy boots. Anyway an experience that I enjoyed and in a while(at least a year) I wouldn't mind checking it out again.

When The Tears Fall

I've had questions without answers
I've known sorrow, I have known pain
But there's one thing that I'll cling to
You are faithful, Jesus You're true

When hope is lost, I'll call You Saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call You healer
When silence falls, You'll be the song within my heart

In the lone hour of my sorrow
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me
My defender, forevermore

I will praise You, I will praise You
When the tears fall, still I will sing to You
I will praise You, Jesus praise You
Through the suffering still I will sing

-Tim Hughes

The Awesomeness of the Universe

This is from a cool site that I am sure many of you have visited. I think it's worth another visit. Click here.

Reflections of a Footballicious Weekend

1. It is nice to relax
2. Eli Manning stinks
3. I got my butt kicked at a computer game
4. My tree is bare
5. I slept in till late on Saturday
6. I don't like stress
7. This weather sucks
8. We had a cold December and now we haven't gotten away from highs in the 40s
9. I want snow
10. Somebody told me I should move north to maybe Maine or Canada
11. I got offended
12. I don't like how good the Patriots are
14. I am leading my fantasy playoff league
15. I like when other people make dinner
16. Soup is good in the winter
17. This would be a good day for golf
18. Lots of people were shopping
19. Farm show: good or evil?
20. It was very good stew
21. I got this cd
22. I want to get this cd
23. Or this cd (Strange and Beautiful)
24. Or this cd

Significant Insignificance

How big is God? Well He is big enough to create the entire universe which we can't even understand the size and wonder of it.

How big are we? Well, we live in a galaxy that is 100,000 light years across(light year=5.87 trillion miles). Our solar system is on the outer edge of the galaxy and if the galaxy were North America, our solar system would be the size of a quarter. In our solar system we are on one of 9 planets surrounding a sun 93 million miles away. Our planet isn't close to being the biggest of the planets and micro compared to the sun's size. 6 billion people live on our planet.

That is a really big God and a really small us. But what is incredible. God loves each of us more than we can even understand. Think of the deepest love you know and it still doesn't compare to how much God loves you. Is that not incredible? I don't even really understand it. Not even a speck of dust and we are treated with more favour than anything else in this huge universe.