Why is it that when adults are around kids they cease to be able to act like adults?
I was at a birthday celebration (for an adult) over the weekend and there were a few young children there as well as many adults. Now usually when I am around adults I like to talk with them about adult things. I quickly learned though, that this was a hopeless goal. What I didn't realize was that once the kids were there, the adults no longer functioned normally. Rather than talking intelligently about things, all they did was watch the kids. Even when they weren't playing with the children, everyone would still watch them. Starting up even the simplest of conversations was impossible.
Before I go on, let me say this one thing. I like kids. I enjoy interacting with them. I have nothing against kids. I love their innocence and joy, but back to the issue at hand. The children shouldn't be ignored, yet they shouldn't turn all the adults into robots that have lost any sensory perception not involving the youngins. It isn't even the fault of the children.
So what is the solution. I don't know. It's not to try different adults. These were friends that I have very enjoyable times with when kids are not around. Let's just hope that adults can learn that you can enjoy children and still have adult responses when around them.
11.08.2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
if the children were the offspring of said adults the reason is quite simple, doubly so if their ages were 4 and below. The most treasured thing will always dominate our thoughts, and so it is with kids. It's not that I don't want to talk about the weekends game or newest movie. It's just that my 3 month old and 2.5 year old are too entrancing.
I am not talking about the offspring. I understand that parents would want to do it. This is my issue. Here is a scenario. There are 20 people in the room. 4 are children 16 are adults. Approximately 6 adults are playing with the children. That leaves 10 adults doing what? Just staring at the kids. Not playing with them or interacting with them in any way. At least 5 of those adults are not related to any of the children. Yet they still just stare at the children. That is what I was trying to say.
Dear Sir;
I am writing in rebuttal to your comments made on 11/08/05 in regards to adults and children. You were obviously bothered and perhaps even perplexed that people would ditch an adult conversation to watch and/or play with children. Why would people want to do the latter, when they could hold an intelligent conversation about adult things? Like automobiles.
I would like to try and explain why. I have three nieces. I love them. How do I show my love? I play with them and I give them attention. You and I both know that children grow up fast. I would hope that it wouldn't happen, but there might come a time when my nieces get too old to play with their uncle. And then, all I would have is the memories of the past, when I would color with them or allow them to chase me around the house. These times are important to me. I have an opportunity to enter a world where nothing is taken for granted and there's a new adventure around every corner.
Conversing with adults, you tend to discuss sports, culture, politics and perhaps other "adult" topics. I can do that any day. But conversing with children, it's always exciting. What new animals they saw, what they had for lunch, who has the latest boo-boo. All good stuff. And I can't expect you to understand all this now. Perhaps when your niece starts babbling like a brook, you'll understand more clearly. When it becomes more personal.
I understand that you lost two hours of potentially ground-breaking conversation that night. And I apologize. Not because you lost those two hours. But because you didn't realize that there were three girls and a boy running around, living it up like there was not tomorrow. But perhaps next time, when you see that adults and children are gathered in the same room, you will lower your expectations in regards to the level of conversation.
So ya wanna join us for Thanksgiving? =)
Respectfully,
MTG
P.S. How ARE adults supposed to act these days?
Why don't you actually read what I am saying before going on the attack? You totally misunderstood what I was trying to say. Here is an example. There are 20 people in the room. 4 are children 16 are adults. Approximately 6 adults are playing with the children. That leaves 10 adults doing what? Just staring at the kids. Not playing with them or interacting with them in any way. At least 5 of those adults are not related to any of the children. Yet they still just stare at the children. That is what I was trying to say.
You are more than welcome to play with your neices. I have absolutely no problem with that. It was actually cool to see you having fun with them. The issue was the other adults. If they wanted to play with the children fine, but what wonderful things are they experiencing by watching the children, but not participating. Couldn't they do this, by talking with others yet keeping an eye on the children so as not to miss anything. This isn't too difficult to do.
I also never said anything about intelligent conversation, just adult conversation. Don't put words in my mouth.
So next time you decide to do this, make sure you have the facts. And don't pull that 'you don't understand it' bit. That is the biggest cop out that adults like to pull. Guess what, I can understand. I may not have the exact situation, but I can still grasp the concept.
I read what you said, but apparently I misunderstood what your words were trying to tell me.
I'm trying to say that people find enjoyment not only in playing with children, but also watching them. I would rather play peek-a-boo with some children than converse with some adults. Apparently some people that evening enjoyed watching the children more than the possibility of adult conversation. Why exactly they enjoyed that, you would have to ask them.
I suppose what frustrated me the most, if anything, was that this whole thing even bothered you to begin with. It didn't seem like much to talk about. But I think that that's just me trying to figure out why you don't act like me (at least in situations like this).
And the exact phrase I used was "understand more clearly," which denotes the fact that there is already some level of understanding present.
I apologize that you felt attacked. And also for being presumptuous.
Yikes.
I have to side with Stephen on this one. Watching toddlers toddle is sometimes way more engaging than most "adult" conversation I have to suffer through. Yet watching my toddlers for the entire day, 5 days a week, has me desperate for any kind of conversation in which the conversees don't call me Daddy.
Post a Comment