I never know what to say

The workplace has been a little changed today. One of the employees died unexpectedly over the weekend. Death is always so hard to deal with. It is so hard to comfort people.

Everything must change
There's a mirror showing me the ugly truth
These bones they ache with holy fire
But I've got nothing to give, just a life to live
If your world is without colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright

There's no-one else to blame
I live my life between the fire and the flame
I've built my house where the ocean meets the land
It's time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand
Let your world be full of colour
I will carry you, if you carry me

When it's all falling down on you
You're crying out but you're breaking in two
When it's all crashing down on you
When there's nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you
-delirious

Reflections of a Sweltering Weekend

1. Why doesn't the US like soccer more?
2. It was stinking hot this weekend
3. I don't like to move
4. Part of that is not liking packing
5. It all somehow got done; not necessarily the best, but done
6. I like baseball even when my Orioles aren't doing the best
7. I like sleep
8. I don't like when I don't get much
9. Gifford Pinchot State park is nice
10. Even though I don't like moving, it went as well as it could have
11. I try to be a thankful person
12. Nothing like crashing
13. Fever Pitch has some really cheesy graphics in it
14. Reading and listening to music...doesn't get much better
15. Frontline was good
16. I was a mailman on Sunday
17. I like The Silver Diner
18. I don't like to clean
19. Not many cds at Circuit City for their $9.99 sale
20. Beuller, Beuller
21. Purveyor's Anonymous, a new group for people in over their heads

If you didn't know...

I have been talking about Germany for the past couple of months, but I don't know if I have stated specifically what I am doing. I applied to the Black Forest Academy in Kandern, Germany and was accepted to be a resident assistant there. I will live in a house with high school kids whose parents are missionaries. I will help them live life and grow in life, faith and maturity.

I am leaving for Germany at the beginning of August and going for 2 years. They are not paying me any salary so I have to raise my own support for this opportunity. If any of you are interested in supporting me, just go here and you can find all the information you need. My support letter is there with more information and the pledge form for support pledges is also there. Thanks.

I don't like Walmart

I currently trying to describe if the word 'hate' is too strong for how I feel about Walmart or just about right. Either way, I greatly despise Walmart. Many people ask, 'Why? How can you hate such a wonderful store?' It is easy I tell you, easy.

First off, let's just start with the basics. The aisles are too crowded, there are never enough cashiers and traffic around a Walmart is always horrible. These are the surface reasons why I don't like Walmart.

Why else you ask? I'll be glad to tell you. They kill Mom&Pop stores. They come in to an area and undercut the businesses with prices that aren't even possible for them to make a profit on. They cut some prices low to get you in the store and then you spend another $40 you weren't planning to. They treat their employees horribly, whether it be benefits or salary. They low-ball their suppliers too. If you want to carry something in a Walmart, you have to bend over and say, 'Thank you sir; may I have another?' They don't run by honest, ethical or moral business practices.

That's just the start of why I can't stand Walmart.

Do you like change?

I was talking with a group of guys on Sunday and 5 out of 6 of us were moving somewhere by August. Whether it was moving to a different house, or moving to a different state or different country, we were all moving. I was amazed at how much change was being experienced by just the few of us.

Some people like change, some people hate it. There are those that will be happy for the rest of their lives if they don't move or change their jobs again. There are others that want to try a new city or job every few years. Ritual, tradition, progression, invention. All different words that have to do with this thing called change.

Which is right? Is there a right? I don't think that either extreme is right, but I do think that we all need to be in the middle. Sometimes change is good, sometimes it isn't. I think that we need to be open to both sides of change. Whether it is going to a different country to make a difference there; or staying in the place you are so that you can continue to help the people that you are already affecting.

Unions

A local school district's teachers' union is striking right now. They have decided that 9% guaranteed pay raise of two years and paying a couple bucks a month for insurance is not enough. If only they knew what the real world had to deal with. People work for businesses and hope to get a raise and maybe even near 3% but nowhere near 5. And don't even mention the hundreds of dollars a month paying for their health insurance.

Nope, unions just go around being incredibly greedy and making unrealistic demands. The demands that the teachers are making, if accepted, will cause a raise in local taxes. That will make people really happy. I don't think that unions really serve any positive purpose anymore. When workers were treated horribly and not paid well, there was an issue, but no more. Now due to unions, a person can work in a car assembly plant as an assembly line worker and within 10 years be making 6 digits and not paying a dime for medical insurance. That is ridiculous.

So, DEATH TO UNIONS!!!

The List

1. It's always nice to see the fam
2. I never thought that there would be 5 different food options in 1 strip of a strip mall
3. Coldplay - Live 2003...good stuff
4. Where, oh where to buy a carry-on?
5. I don't like headaches
6. The start of the distribution occurred on Saturday
7. It stinks to watch a horse suffer an horrific injury during a race
8. I hope that Barbaro will be okay
9. Anyone want a couch
10. The DaVinci Code was okay
11. Tom Hanks was not
12. The book was more propagandist that the movie
13. What's a good German language learning book?
14. Open up the floodgates...oh crap
15. Baseball, Sundays, naps, ahhh
16. I stink at basketball, but I can make a layup
17. High school guys can be quite the pranksters
18. It's a date
19.

A Code of Crap?

There has been a lot of controversy hovering over Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code. With the movie coming out, I decided to read it. So I borrowed it from one of my friends and started reading away.

So what did I think? Well first off, let me just tell you that I could not put the book down. It was exciting, enthralling and made you want to skip ahead to find out what happened. It is a very well written book and keep you on the edge of your seat.

What about the content? The stuff that the book gets into is really just a bunch of crap. He tries to pass it off as believable but really it doesn't have much of a chance. There is a point where conspiracy theories even in a work of fiction pass the realm of believability. This one crossed that line. At one point it feels like an agenda-ridden book for the deifying of the "sacred feminine."

The end left a bit to be desired. It takes you where you don't expect, but I just wasn't satisfied by the ending. It just seemed to die a bit at the end.

Anyway, it was a good read and extremely entertaining. Now about that movie...

Freedom

A few months ago, due to financial reasons, I had to give up my cable. I love cable for basically one reason, ESPN. I love sports and ESPN gives me more than enough coverage of anything I could ever hope for. So it was going to be hard to let it go, but I am very glad that I did.

I have SO much more time now. I don't just have the tv on to have it on. I can read, play my guitar, accomplish chores. It is so nice to not have the tv on all the time. I am definitely healthier for it. Now I am not one of those people that thinks tv is evil. I just have found that it has been better for me to watch less of it. Not none, just less.

A choice that I have not regretted one bit.

As an aside, I could have said that I gave up tv so that I would talk more with people, but I live alone. That would be a little freaky.

Whose will is whom's?

I have been thinking about something lately. How often do you hear the phrases: It's God's will, God wants me to do this, It's God's calling. I have to say that I hear it more than I would really like too. Why? You ask. Because I think it is overused and wrongly used.

Most of the times I here this comment, the person is just looking for some backing of what they WANT to do. So they say that God wants them to do it. They are using (and abusing) God's will to fit their own desires.

This has happened a couple of times recently. People have been wanting to do something for many months and then they tell me that they are going to do it. In doing so...and so their words carry more weight...they tell me that it is something God is leading them to do. What a bunch of bologna. Just admit that you were following your own desires and used the
God card' to give the desires more weight.

I would say that it is most abused in relationships. "God wants me to go out with this person.' God has put us together.' 'I need to do this in the relationship because God wants me to.' So we fall for somebody and no matter how bad the circumstances are or how strange our decision seems, we attach God's will to it rather than admitting that our own romantic feelings are what is actually driving the decision. By using God's will, we prevent serious questions from being asked by our friends and family and it makes us look good because it seems like we are obeying God.

So we use God to placate our wants and desires. That's dangerous turf that I am not sure I would want to venture on. The funny thing...I have done it before and it is wrong. So now I think very carefully and slowly before I attach God's name to a decision of mine.

It is up and running

Not all the bells and whistles are there yet, but my new website is up and running. This will give a running commentary on my life as it relates to my ministry opportunity at the Black Forest Academy in Germany. The website is http://mattingermany.blogspot.com. This blog is in no way going away. It will continue to bring you my strange opining as always.

Reflections of a Tempestuous Weekend

1. Coffee shops are the stuff
2. Is Chinese food really that good?
3. It is nice when you get a good amount of sleep over a weekend
4. Naps and reading while it's raining are nice
5. I love my mom
6. I am moving in two weeks and don't feel too stressed out because I have already started packing
7. I am an unorganized person
8. The Atlanta Bread Company has good soup and a good atmosphere
9. King Kong is a long movie
10. Anybody want a nice, big, soft couch?
11. Is there a point to fasting?
12. Major League Baseball used pink bats yesterday
13. I haven't swung a golf club in a long time
14. Yesterday I found out that I still stink
15. Joe Pesci is and will always be annoying
16. I have decided to read The DaVinci Code
17. It is pretty captivating
18. The weather was pretty rainy and dreary
19. We need the rain, but I don't like the drear
20. Congrats to Liverpool who won the FA Cup final
21. Do you have a stalker?

I Hate Migraines

Last night I had a killer one. Oh the pain. Something I never would wish on anyone, even my worst enemy. I still have a headache from it.

I am right in the midst of putting everything together in preparations of getting ready for Germany and starting to raise support. It is so exciting to have been accepted and have so many new things starting. I am actually in the process of starting a new blog that is specifically devoted to all things Germany. It will be exciting.

I don't like asking for money, but it is something that I am going to have to do. I am putting together a list of people to send my support letter to. Some of the people I know will not be able to give me to support, but that is fine. I still really want to send them the letter. Why? I want them to know what is going on in my life and this exciting time. I just want them to read it. If they decide to do nothing, fine, because it is wonderful just to share with them this thing.

What is Truth?

Today, I had the distinct pleasure of having lunch with my uncle. As tends to happen when we talk, we started to wax philosophical. The topic of truth came up. Now this is a question that I have already been pondering for the last few weeks. So here goes.

Ultimate absolute truth is created by God. God is an impossibility for us to fully and completely understand. Therefore, the truth of God is impossible for us to understand. We can catch glimpses of it and gain some insight into the truth, but ultimately we can never fully grasp it. Any time that we try to define truth, it falls under our own imperfect view.

Therefore what we deem as truth is not necessarily truth, it is our best approximation of truth. And by definition, if it is not completely void of falsehood, it cannot be considered truth. Now read me very carefully here, I do believe in absolute truth. I believe that the God of the universe has provided us this absolute truth. I am just not at all convinced that what we call truth is actually truth, but a murky interpretation of perfect truth.

Some people should not be allowed to procreate

Here is one of them.

Reflections of s Soundly Heard Weekend

1. Eating a meal of 5 or 6 different things from 5 or 6 different countries is strange
2. It is good to laugh
3. Been there, got the t-shirt
4. Sleeping in is wonderful
5. When the unorganized try to organize, it takes a while
6. Weekends are for doing stuff, weeks are for recovering
7. Some people are very skilled songwriters
8. When will it be done?
9. Sometimes people, just need to talk
10. I hope that the DaVinci Code is an interesting book
11. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tells me something and then doesn't keep their word
12. I don't always keep my word
13. The touch of a woman is a wonderful thing
14. Soccer is fun even if you can't hit the goal
15. Anchorman is a funny movie
16. The new Hershey Chocolate World ride isn't all that I thought it would be, just some flair touches
17. My friends' happiness makes me happy
18. Do I have a personality?

Big Bunch of Bunk

There is a prevailing thought among people today. Especially, those church-type people. The idea that there is one person out there for each of us to marry. It is an idea that really irritates me, because I have never seen any plausible reason to believe. People just say that there is one and never offer any reason for that belief of their's.

Another problem is that it has really screwed up people, especially in the Christian world. The thought goes like this, "I don't have to look around or try to date anyone, because God will drop the person into my lap when the time is right." What a bunch of crap!

So you have all these people waiting around for "the one" and not dating anyone because they don't think the person is "the one." So we make the giant lists of qualities that the one will have and don't get to no anyone without those qualities that we think are so important. Maybe if we dated, we would find out of they are important qualities.

A friend of mine has said before that he thought he could marry pretty much anybody because marriage is so much about waking up every morning and decided to love and live with your spouse. I don't know if that ideal is right either, but it doesn't seem as screwed up as the idea of "the one."

Beauty and Pain

This spring has just been absolutely beautiful weather-wise. Consistent temperatures for the past month and a half or so in the 60s and low 70s and bright sunny skies. I just want to stay outside all the time.

I have been greatly enjoying this, but there has been a downside. We are getting much rain. In fact, combined with the stinky and dry winter we had, we haven't gotten much precipitation in a while. I can remember one good rain over the last two months. This makes for beautiful days but brings consequences with it of drought and water shortages and many other things.

How many beautiful things have a dark side to them. This is one example of countless numbers. What about people? How many people do we know who seem to have everything, but are trapped in some horrible addiction? Or some horrible pain from their past? I guess appearances are not always what they seem. There is a beauty and darkness to everyone, it's just a matter of whether it's hidden or not.

A Contest?

Okay everyone, I need your help. I am trying to fly from Harrisburg, PA(MDT) to Winnipeg, Manitoba(YWG) on June 19th and come back on June 25th. I need to be there for dinner on the 19th and can't leave before lunch on the 25th.

I have actually never bought a plane ticket. I would like to do this the cheapest way possible. I am looking for any ideas from anyone. Or if you find great deals, just let me know where to go. Any help would be wonderful.

Reflections of a Jazz-filled Weekend

1. Why do women always try to fix men?
2. I saw five jazz groups over the weekend
3. Messiah jazz concert(three jazz groups) was good, not great
4. I do not like Meineke
5. I may never visit one again
6. They screwed up and blamed it on me after causing me a big headache
7. Chelsea won the Premier League by beating Manchester United
8. Wayne Rooney broke his foot and is out for the World Cup, not good for England
9. The West Shore Farmer's Market is your standard farmer's market with lots of fresh stuff
10. Minor League soccer matches should not be expensive
11. It was a beautiful weekend weather-wise
12. City Island in Harrisburg, PA is a nice place
13. Harrisburg also has a nice downtown
14. I heard some really good jazz at a hotel bar
15. I don't really like smoke
16. Cafe Fresco in Harrisburg is quite the swank place
17. What is jazz?
18. When women try to help men understand women(hopeless), men don't need to be told what to do
19. Batting cages are fun
20. Nothing like trying to switchhit when you can't swing lefthanded
21. Even when something causes headaches, it is very rewarding when it comes off exceptionally well
22. To awake is human, to sleep is divine