Is it possible for friends of the opposite sex to move to dating?
This is a question that I hear often. I also tend to think about it. I guess the reason is that I tend to be the brother-type friend guy to women. Why this is I don't know, but it's true. I never seem to be a guy that women seem to think about possibly being interested in. I am that guy which women decide to treat like their brother and never consider dating.
Now this isn't always a bad thing. I tend to have decent relationships with women. Whether they are friendships or not is another question which was attempted to be answered in 'When Harry met Sally'. But back to before that question. I have always felt comfortable around women and they are always eager to talk to me, but always as that brother type friend. Because of this, I have learned a lot about women from women. I in no way claim to understand them. I will definitely say that I don't, but they have divulged some things to me that has allowed me to get a glimpse.
Now for the question. Since I always get thrown into this thing of being the friend, it immediately kills the romantic relationship part and that sucks. So I don't believe that it is possible to move from friend to oo la la. Not that it hasn't happened. I know that it has, but I believe that that is rare exception. I believe that once you have become friends there is way too much at risk to try romance. Also, you don't look at the other person in that way because you have filed them under the friend label. So people like me are doomed.
I guess that leads to another question which has been personalized to me. Why am I looked as the automatic friend and not the dating interest. Grrr! This whole thing annoys me.
9 comments:
Dude you couldn't be more wrong. The Spouse of Proteinstar before she was the spouse was the fiance, before that she was the girlfriend, before that she was the best friend. I'll hazard a guess and state that the reason none of these girls want to move from friendship to oo la la is one of two reasons, one the friendship isn't strong enough to justify such a change, and two, you aren't nudging the relationship in that direction. Sometimes relationships just happen, more often you make them happen.
Go make it happen.
Proteinspew has a point. If you are friends with a girl, and you would like it to be more, end the friendship. Pursue the "more" in Satoesque fashion, that leaves no doubt as to your intentions. Also, don't expect too much. Enter the relationship with an "exploratory" attitude. I don't think Spewface or myself entered into our current relationships with marriage on the mind, we just knew that we wanted to get to know the other person in a more intensive fashion than was previously available. I say that you should embrace the Sato mentality and pursue any opportunity that catches your fancy. If you crash and burn you will still have Spewnugget and the blogger crew to help get your car ready for the next race.
Spewface? That's brilliant bordering on sheer genius. She'll kill me.
I really thought that the brilliance was found in the subtle changes I made to your screen name throughout the comment which eventually arrived at "Spewnugget." My personal favorite by far was "Proteinspew." I think matt might agree. Leave it to us to take a serious post and turn it into childish revelry.
Sorry Shoopy. I tried to read your comment, but halfway through I accidentally hung myself with my shoelaces.
I've often wished that particular close male friends would show some interest in me beyond friendship... maybe it's worth the risk if you have someone particular in mind.
There si no way I would have dated the Spouse of Proteinstar if I did not consider her my best friend. At that time we were completely attached by the hip, did everything together. In the end it's a crap shoot, a swan dive off a cliff, you either make it or don't. You might lose a girl you consider a friend, but think of what you get if you succeed. You do niether her nor yourself any favors by stifling the idea that you might be much happier as a couple.
Throw those dice and do it.
I think that I should inform all of you that no specific current person caused me to write this post. It was more a reminiscing over my past failed situations.
It did, the first time. That was about 10 years ago. I've hung meself with the old shoelaces so many times now that it hurts about as much as getting out of bed in the morning. I'm currently working on fashioning my shoelaces into a hammock, which should be fun.
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