10.26.2005

A Man without a Home

I don't in any way want to take other people's ideas and steal them, but a post on Lara's blog really got me thinking. What is home? What feels like home? For myself, I don't know. I don't know if I would say that I have a home. The place where I live right now in some ways feels like home, but there isn't that feeling of home. My parent's place where I haven't lived for many years still has some homelike feelings when I visit them. I don't know if I have a home.

Is it because I am not married? I don't know either. I do know that I long for that person to share everything with. A person and relationship where we truly become one. So is this what is needed to find home? Or is that a concept that we have been fed to believe since we were born. That we are not complete as adults until we start our own family by being married. Is there something more there. Is it a longing of most hearts for that closer human relationship that any other that we have?

For myself I don't know. I am not sure whether it is my yearning for a close relationship or what I have been taught. The church arena, where I mostly hang out, is very big on marriage and can put unwanted pressure on single people. Yet I know that when I don't even feel pressure, that I can still ache. Adam didn't have any pressure on him and he was still longing. Does that mean that is what is needed to feel like home?

Anyway, Lara, thanks. It seems that although you were looking for answers, you, at least in my mind, brought up many more questions. I don't know what is home to me. I would guess it's the place where I feel most comfortable. That is usually out with nature or in deep community. But yet, if asked, I guess I don't have a home. A residence, yes, but no home.

1 comments:

Proteinstar said...

home is where YOUR heart is. Meaning until yoor secure with your choices and lifestyle, with yourself, you'll never feel at home. Because home is where you hang your hat. Meaning location dosn't matter. Nor does proximity to relations. Until your joyful about your marriedness or singleness or whateverness, this concept of home might elude you.