How does the adage go? Something like, you can't go to a gym until you are in-shape. Although a sad fact, it does appear to be mostly true. Many people go to a gym because they look good and want others to notice that they look good. I believe that churches are the same way.
You can only go to church if you have it together. Or at least if you pretend to have it all together. Not struggles or serious questions allowed. No questions like why do bad things happend to good people. No 'why did my kid die of cancer and another's was healed.' No question that is a true struggle of someone. If we question God, that should be done in quiet where no one can hear us.
There's a big problem with this. Fact: no one has it all together. Everyone struggles with something. Why is this? Why the urge to be fake? Where is honest community? Why can't we support each other in our weaknesses? Where is the gap?
Nobody wants to here that I feel like God has abandoned me and has gone strangely distant. They just want to hear that things are great. That God is good. We all the the reply...all the time. Well guess what...I don't feel that all the time. When I come close to be honest what is the answer that I get? The Bible answer. The answer that ignores my question and says that God is great.
That's not walking with each other in our infirmities. That is being fake. having it together. Like we are supposed to. You are depressing and a downer when you try to be honest. Well guess what? It is hard to be up after 21 months of no consistent job, no church community of friends and 33 years of singleness.
Sometimes life just sucks and I wonder if God actually cares. I think God is okay with that question. Why aren't we?
3.21.2011
3.09.2011
“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.” - MLK Jr.
I love this quote. We were made to be who we were made to be. Not Beethoven, not Shakespeare. But how often do we want to be someone else. How often are we not happy with who we are or what we do. Right now I am a tutor. It is not my favorite thing, but a good thing. Although most likely not what I was made to do for the rest of my life, it is what I am doing now.
I should do the best that I can. Not to keep the job, not to be popular. No, because he who made me is watching and loves my tutoring self.
I love this quote. We were made to be who we were made to be. Not Beethoven, not Shakespeare. But how often do we want to be someone else. How often are we not happy with who we are or what we do. Right now I am a tutor. It is not my favorite thing, but a good thing. Although most likely not what I was made to do for the rest of my life, it is what I am doing now.
I should do the best that I can. Not to keep the job, not to be popular. No, because he who made me is watching and loves my tutoring self.
2.15.2011
stupid valentine's day
that's right! i don't like it. that silly day created by corporations so that cards and flowers would sell. a day to create outlandish expectations by people of their significant others. a day where being single is in comparison to being less than human...unaccepted.
stupid day. all these happy people. yuck. lovey dovey and all that other cheesy stuff. oo.cooties. just not fair. a day that makes me hate relationships. of course since other people have them.
these opinions are very wispy and liable to change on one thing. a relationship. then i shall claim a love of valentine's day and utter enjoyment in all it offers. see how shallow i really am.
this rant has been brought to you by matt'svalentinesdayannoyance.com.
please read this as an ironic and humourous rant, not to be construed seriously.
stupid day. all these happy people. yuck. lovey dovey and all that other cheesy stuff. oo.cooties. just not fair. a day that makes me hate relationships. of course since other people have them.
these opinions are very wispy and liable to change on one thing. a relationship. then i shall claim a love of valentine's day and utter enjoyment in all it offers. see how shallow i really am.
this rant has been brought to you by matt'svalentinesdayannoyance.com.
please read this as an ironic and humourous rant, not to be construed seriously.
2.10.2011
saddened
i was in church the other day and some kids were up there to advertise the church clubs. 4 of the girls had worked really hard and received an award. they announced that these girls had the presidential award for service from president obama. there was a couple behind me and at the time that the words 'president obama' were said there was a outwardly verbal disdain and disapproval.
no choice to celebrate what these girls had done and the honour that they had received from our president. but a need to make their dislike for our president know. why? really, why? whether or not you like him, there is respect that goes with the office. also do you hate him that much to have an outburst in a church service?!?
why do 'christians' feel the need, let alone the right to exhibit such disdain? are we not to love our neighbors and enemies. and president obama is far from an enemy. can't we all just get along and not use words of hate and violence when it comes to politics. pretty please.
1.24.2011
the disarming nature of happiness
i love winter. i love cold, i love snow. i like winter clothes and hot drinks. pretty much everything about winter is awesome to me. this puts me at odds with many people that i know. people that loathe winter.
i recently sent an email to someone whom i know to hate winter. but i was excited. it had snowed and it was pretty so i was happy. i just wanted to share my excitement with someone else. now here is the interesting thing. she responded not in a complaining, cynical manner but in an exuberant manner about what she was excited about. although she could have read my email and complained about winter, she chose to celebrate in what she enjoyed.
i think this is a general truth about happiness. when someone is happy, it spreads. it makes us happy and looking for the bright light in our day. whether or not we agree with what that person is happy about, the emotion is infectious. so use your happyness to cheer up someone's day.
as aside, the opposite holds true. usually when one starts complaining, the others that he interacts with become negative. don't let yourself go down this road. i do far too often.
1.13.2011
the fresh fallen snow
i love snow. always have. it is cold, clean, brings quiet and awesome snowmen. it also brings a quiet peace. walk outside while it is snowing and what do you hear? nothing. the birds are in their nests, the animals have found shelter and are waiting for the snows end to come out. they know that it is time to rest.
what do we as americans like to do? go go go. and then we keep going. rarely do we stop, rarely to we rest and admire the beauty of the world around us. what does the snow make us do? it makes us stop. that is the other element to the quietness. the lack of traffic driving on our roads.
we close early and go home. yes there are some who have to keep working in the snow, but for most of us, it makes us stop. so we go home and watch it fall. hopefully spending time with our families and definitely getting the mental and physical rest that we need.
do you need these breaks? do you like these breaks or is it just another plan ruined?
what do we as americans like to do? go go go. and then we keep going. rarely do we stop, rarely to we rest and admire the beauty of the world around us. what does the snow make us do? it makes us stop. that is the other element to the quietness. the lack of traffic driving on our roads.
we close early and go home. yes there are some who have to keep working in the snow, but for most of us, it makes us stop. so we go home and watch it fall. hopefully spending time with our families and definitely getting the mental and physical rest that we need.
do you need these breaks? do you like these breaks or is it just another plan ruined?
1.01.2011
happy new year
may i learn from the hardships
may i rejoice in the blessings
may i hold tight to friendships
and let go of hatred
may i love a little more everyday
may i accept grace a bit more too
may draw closer to being like him
while fleeing the things that pull me down
and most of all..
may i have the faith to hope in love
may i rejoice in the blessings
may i hold tight to friendships
and let go of hatred
may i love a little more everyday
may i accept grace a bit more too
may draw closer to being like him
while fleeing the things that pull me down
and most of all..
may i have the faith to hope in love
12.20.2010
is it that simple?
jesus was once asked what the greatest commandment was. he responded(summary) ---love God, love people. he could have said anything. he could have said go to church, vote republican, don't do this, don't do that. but he didn't. it wasn't a laundry list of things to do. it was simple. simply hard. Love God, love people.
there weren't four spiritual laws, there wasn't the romans road, the colour book didn't exist. no religion, no fancy club to join. just love God love people. why do we always make it complicated? i think that people are drawn to love and the love shown to people.
now don't get me wrong. these four words are incredibly simple. yet...ridiculously hard to live by. i really have simplified my faith over the past year and tried just to live by these four words. although there is no religion to worry about. following these four words is far harder than trying to be religious.
so how are you doing with those four wonderful words?
there weren't four spiritual laws, there wasn't the romans road, the colour book didn't exist. no religion, no fancy club to join. just love God love people. why do we always make it complicated? i think that people are drawn to love and the love shown to people.
now don't get me wrong. these four words are incredibly simple. yet...ridiculously hard to live by. i really have simplified my faith over the past year and tried just to live by these four words. although there is no religion to worry about. following these four words is far harder than trying to be religious.
so how are you doing with those four wonderful words?
11.07.2010
what can you do?
I had the privilege to spend this weekend at the mid-Atlantic Orphan Summit. 400 of us talked about how we can help and what we can do about the crisis. It can be overwhelming. There are somewhere around 150 million orphans in this world. Many of them are hurting and unloved. They fall into anything from drugs to crime to slavery, sometimes even as sex slaves.
The horror stories are truly horrific. And when listening to this I was at first just completely overwhelmed. But as the weekend continued, there were two main points that everyone agreed on. The first was that every single person should do something. The second that we should start with just one child at a time.
Everyone needs to get involved in some fashion. There are multiple biblical mandates for this. There are so many ways to get involved, whether from adoption and foster care, or moving into orphan care. Ministries like World Vision and Compassion are great stepping stones into helping out.
Secondly, one child at a time. If we try to fix the entire problem for 150 million people, we will fail immediately. We need to just see how we can start helping. Start with asking questions and educating ourselves. And then see how we can get involved in a small way. We can't get overwhelmed by everything, but we just need to start with one. Changing one life will lead to changing many.
So what can you do? Today is Orphan Sunday. Visit their website. Secondly, I have a way that you can start helping. Visit Forgotten Voices. There are many suggestions of what you can do. Consider joining in helping to change one life at a time.
The horror stories are truly horrific. And when listening to this I was at first just completely overwhelmed. But as the weekend continued, there were two main points that everyone agreed on. The first was that every single person should do something. The second that we should start with just one child at a time.
Everyone needs to get involved in some fashion. There are multiple biblical mandates for this. There are so many ways to get involved, whether from adoption and foster care, or moving into orphan care. Ministries like World Vision and Compassion are great stepping stones into helping out.
Secondly, one child at a time. If we try to fix the entire problem for 150 million people, we will fail immediately. We need to just see how we can start helping. Start with asking questions and educating ourselves. And then see how we can get involved in a small way. We can't get overwhelmed by everything, but we just need to start with one. Changing one life will lead to changing many.
So what can you do? Today is Orphan Sunday. Visit their website. Secondly, I have a way that you can start helping. Visit Forgotten Voices. There are many suggestions of what you can do. Consider joining in helping to change one life at a time.
10.14.2010
Circumstantial Relationships
let's suppose that you are in a relationship. that could be a friendship or dating or even familial relationship. you are close with this other person and you talk all the time and care for each other. one day life takes a drastic turn for you. it turns hard and things get bad. maybe you lose your job , a family member gets sick or dies. maybe you break up with your fiance or you yourself get really sick.
through all of this your friend has done nothing but be there for you and care for you. they haven't always known what to say, but they have loved you. but you decide that you don't like them anymore or maybe you just don't know how to feel about them. so you pull away from the relationship. this person has done nothing to you, but your circumstances have caused you to react in this way.
crazy isn't it.
isn't that what we do with God?
isn't that what i do with God?
my circumstances have changed. they have gotten hard. there is no one to blame it on, but as humans i think we always want to know where to put the blame. so we put the blame on our relationship. we pull back. God has done nothing but love us and care for us, but because of our circumstances, we become apathetic. we hurt a relationship based entirely on our circumstances.
the crazy thing about this. now we have done something to the relationship. we have hurt it. we have caused hurt to one who love and cares for us. and you know what he does...
...continues to love and care for us.
through all of this your friend has done nothing but be there for you and care for you. they haven't always known what to say, but they have loved you. but you decide that you don't like them anymore or maybe you just don't know how to feel about them. so you pull away from the relationship. this person has done nothing to you, but your circumstances have caused you to react in this way.
crazy isn't it.
isn't that what we do with God?
isn't that what i do with God?
my circumstances have changed. they have gotten hard. there is no one to blame it on, but as humans i think we always want to know where to put the blame. so we put the blame on our relationship. we pull back. God has done nothing but love us and care for us, but because of our circumstances, we become apathetic. we hurt a relationship based entirely on our circumstances.
the crazy thing about this. now we have done something to the relationship. we have hurt it. we have caused hurt to one who love and cares for us. and you know what he does...
...continues to love and care for us.
10.03.2010
Back to the Future
let's go back to mid 2004. i had recently ended my job after they were forcing me to move to philly and change my job function. i had strong ties to my church and was really involved and making a difference. therefore i decided to stay in harrisburg.
in spring 2005 i got a three month part time consulting job. in fall 2005 i got a temp job that lasted until germany.
fast forward three years and i am back from germany. no employment until december 2009 and that is only part time which is currently yielding about 4 hours a week.
that's three years of three part time jobs. now not to discount germany because it changed my life, but i have tried to live respectfully and follow where i believe i am led.
i just can't do this. multiple job rejections a week and lack of steady employment. i don't know how to deal with so much hardship. and continual feelings of being let down. i'm broken and struggling with no encouragement and what feels like abandonment.
ugh. here i am in the future and the past doesn't have much hope.
in spring 2005 i got a three month part time consulting job. in fall 2005 i got a temp job that lasted until germany.
fast forward three years and i am back from germany. no employment until december 2009 and that is only part time which is currently yielding about 4 hours a week.
that's three years of three part time jobs. now not to discount germany because it changed my life, but i have tried to live respectfully and follow where i believe i am led.
i just can't do this. multiple job rejections a week and lack of steady employment. i don't know how to deal with so much hardship. and continual feelings of being let down. i'm broken and struggling with no encouragement and what feels like abandonment.
ugh. here i am in the future and the past doesn't have much hope.
9.29.2010
thimbels
when you don't have anything nice to say, you should say anything at all. it's not been a good week and any post on a subject would just not be a good thing to put on this internet. so some random tidbits.
i commented on don miller's blog and the moderator deleted my comment. what's up with that! it wasn't offensive or anyting. a bit disagreeing but who are they?
art - is following directions to make something art? i do not believe so. i feel that art happens when one uses their mind to create something new, not just copy and follow.
photography - it is really hard to get that sunset shot. either the background is colorless or the foreground is black. it has taken me 10 or so minutes at times to get the right shot.
do all these politicians really hate each other that much? that is what their ads say.
i love 'much ado about nothing'
i am glad that it is turning to fall.
have a great week. i mean that sincerely. i don't know who reads this, but if you are, I really hope that your week is special in an unexpected way.
i commented on don miller's blog and the moderator deleted my comment. what's up with that! it wasn't offensive or anyting. a bit disagreeing but who are they?
art - is following directions to make something art? i do not believe so. i feel that art happens when one uses their mind to create something new, not just copy and follow.
photography - it is really hard to get that sunset shot. either the background is colorless or the foreground is black. it has taken me 10 or so minutes at times to get the right shot.
do all these politicians really hate each other that much? that is what their ads say.
i love 'much ado about nothing'
i am glad that it is turning to fall.
have a great week. i mean that sincerely. i don't know who reads this, but if you are, I really hope that your week is special in an unexpected way.
9.16.2010
LOVE - the finale
loves...?
loves his BFA guys
loves Muslims
loves teenagers
loves the weather we've had this week
loves the smell of fresh cut grass
loves that loving makes for positivity rather than negativity
loves air conditioning
loves grace
that finished up my august LOVE experiment. i have to admit. when it was a rough day, it was really hard to come up with something. some of the things were deep, some weren't. they all were true and the thing that most pleasantly surprised me was that by using the word love and not bashing something else led to positive comments. it seems to disarm peoples negativity a bit.
so i am going to keep going. not every day, but at least once a week. although i love many things, i am not love. i know someone who is. whether or not i feel it or believe it all the time, it is true. God is LOVE. it has to be true. there is no point without it. and let me tell you, i don't feel it right now. but i am clinging to it.
so LOVE.
PS.
loves laughing
loves the chance he is getting to change the lives of some wonderful people
loves volleyball
loves homemade cappuccinos on a rainy day
loves fall.
loves his BFA guys
loves Muslims
loves teenagers
loves the weather we've had this week
loves the smell of fresh cut grass
loves that loving makes for positivity rather than negativity
loves air conditioning
loves grace
that finished up my august LOVE experiment. i have to admit. when it was a rough day, it was really hard to come up with something. some of the things were deep, some weren't. they all were true and the thing that most pleasantly surprised me was that by using the word love and not bashing something else led to positive comments. it seems to disarm peoples negativity a bit.
so i am going to keep going. not every day, but at least once a week. although i love many things, i am not love. i know someone who is. whether or not i feel it or believe it all the time, it is true. God is LOVE. it has to be true. there is no point without it. and let me tell you, i don't feel it right now. but i am clinging to it.
so LOVE.
PS.
loves laughing
loves the chance he is getting to change the lives of some wonderful people
loves volleyball
loves homemade cappuccinos on a rainy day
loves fall.
9.07.2010
the church's forgotten
i have come to realize that there is a section of the population that is greatly ignored and forgotten about when it comes to churches. i am realizing this due to being in the group. churches love programs. we have programs for everything.
we have the christian ed program that covers kids from nursery to 6th grade. in 6th grade we hand them off to youth ministry where they stay till twelfth. after that they go off to college for four years. churches are very happy to welcome them back into the fold and also others that have moved into the area. if you have married, great they will through you in with some other young marrieds that maybe have very young children. if not, that is okay because you are still young and full of vigor and churches want to help you mature in whatever you mature in.
but realistically, by the time you are 25 to 30, you should be married so it is time to move into family small groups and sunday school where you learn to become a better parent, husband, wife or all around good person. then you are helped when you have kids graduate college and hopefully are in church leadership as you look to retirement. all well and good(well it may not even be good)...
except...
me. i haven't gotten married. i am in my thirties. i need community just like anyone else, but nobody knows what to do with me. there aren't many like me, so maybe we can just be ignored. maybe there is a 'singles' group that has people mostly in their 40s and 50s who have never married or are maybe divorced. i don't fit there so nothing happens.
i am the church's forgotten.
we have the christian ed program that covers kids from nursery to 6th grade. in 6th grade we hand them off to youth ministry where they stay till twelfth. after that they go off to college for four years. churches are very happy to welcome them back into the fold and also others that have moved into the area. if you have married, great they will through you in with some other young marrieds that maybe have very young children. if not, that is okay because you are still young and full of vigor and churches want to help you mature in whatever you mature in.
but realistically, by the time you are 25 to 30, you should be married so it is time to move into family small groups and sunday school where you learn to become a better parent, husband, wife or all around good person. then you are helped when you have kids graduate college and hopefully are in church leadership as you look to retirement. all well and good(well it may not even be good)...
except...
me. i haven't gotten married. i am in my thirties. i need community just like anyone else, but nobody knows what to do with me. there aren't many like me, so maybe we can just be ignored. maybe there is a 'singles' group that has people mostly in their 40s and 50s who have never married or are maybe divorced. i don't fit there so nothing happens.
i am the church's forgotten.
8.31.2010
politics
politics is a rare breed. it is amazing how best of friends can turn fight-to-the-death duelers when discussing politics. they can discuss virtually anything else and remain calm and jovial, but throw in words like republican, democrat, conservative and liberal and the gloves are off.
recently, i made a foray into some political discussions over the course of the day. i wasn't meaning to attack anyone, but in mentioning a disagreement with a political person they revered, it was like attacking their own family. this is what politics does. and i am not sure why. either way, after a day of weighing into debates, i was a bit annoyed with myself for having been drawn into passionate discourses.
so i withdrew. not that i don't think that some of these discussions are important, but because there is just to much passion wrapped in all of this. For this non-republican, non-democrat, non liberal, non-conservative, it is better just to stay on the sidelines and listen. i definitely have my ideas, but others hold quite dearly to theirs and happiness is more important than having your own idea heard.
at least most of the time...
recently, i made a foray into some political discussions over the course of the day. i wasn't meaning to attack anyone, but in mentioning a disagreement with a political person they revered, it was like attacking their own family. this is what politics does. and i am not sure why. either way, after a day of weighing into debates, i was a bit annoyed with myself for having been drawn into passionate discourses.
so i withdrew. not that i don't think that some of these discussions are important, but because there is just to much passion wrapped in all of this. For this non-republican, non-democrat, non liberal, non-conservative, it is better just to stay on the sidelines and listen. i definitely have my ideas, but others hold quite dearly to theirs and happiness is more important than having your own idea heard.
at least most of the time...
8.23.2010
the LOVE experiment.
the past few.
loves going new places
loves reconnecting with friends
loves sunsets
loves the beach
loves you
loves coffee
loves the daily show
loves football (both kinds)
loves camping
loves rain
loves Germany
loves Herbie Hancock - the IMAGINE project
loves the fresh soreness after a hard run
loves that he gets the honor and privilege to sing and worship with Jenn and Kim at Grace Bible Chapel
Those have been the last many. Sort of all over the board. One thing I have noticed is that positive statuses lead to positive comments. Nothing to bicker over when you talk about things you like. Those are just things you like, not life or death. if we talked to people about the things we like about them i bet conversations would many times be different. also if we concentrated on the things we like about people, we would look more fondly on everyone.
also, i have stuck to this. there have been days that I haven't felt like it. a rough day where something bad happened and i was thinking about all that was wrong. it was tough at times to come up with something, yet i always have. it makes you realize that many things are going well at the time that things are rough.
we shall see where this leads next.
love somebody
loves going new places
loves reconnecting with friends
loves sunsets
loves the beach
loves you
loves coffee
loves the daily show
loves football (both kinds)
loves camping
loves rain
loves Germany
loves Herbie Hancock - the IMAGINE project
loves the fresh soreness after a hard run
loves that he gets the honor and privilege to sing and worship with Jenn and Kim at Grace Bible Chapel
Those have been the last many. Sort of all over the board. One thing I have noticed is that positive statuses lead to positive comments. Nothing to bicker over when you talk about things you like. Those are just things you like, not life or death. if we talked to people about the things we like about them i bet conversations would many times be different. also if we concentrated on the things we like about people, we would look more fondly on everyone.
also, i have stuck to this. there have been days that I haven't felt like it. a rough day where something bad happened and i was thinking about all that was wrong. it was tough at times to come up with something, yet i always have. it makes you realize that many things are going well at the time that things are rough.
we shall see where this leads next.
love somebody
8.05.2010
love
too many things are bringing us down. life can be hard. sucky things happen. so to counteract this and my own get caught in this swirl, i am doing something.
it is sort of a combined technology thing. every day hopefully for the month of august, i am going to put in my facebook status something that i love about life. something good about what is going on in this world. just a way to bring my mind to wonderful things and maybe getting you to think wonderful things.
My first two have been:
loves Forgotten Voices.
loves jazz.
I don't know where this leads me, but am ready to ride the ride.
Peace Aus!
it is sort of a combined technology thing. every day hopefully for the month of august, i am going to put in my facebook status something that i love about life. something good about what is going on in this world. just a way to bring my mind to wonderful things and maybe getting you to think wonderful things.
My first two have been:
loves Forgotten Voices.
loves jazz.
I don't know where this leads me, but am ready to ride the ride.
Peace Aus!
7.28.2010
vacation
i'm back. after a very busy july where i haven't been in the state most of the time, i thought i would send out a blog. i was out in kansas for a week and it got me thinking about vacations.
why do vacations work? what is it about them that refreshes us? my outlook on work after i came back was much happier. it just makes me wonder. something in our brains just changes tune when we remove ourselves from the places that cause us stress. yes, that stress is still there, but we have gone away from it for a while. we are doing something else that takes our minds off of the hardship.
but are physical vacations the only things that work. could we just do emotional vacations? what about spiritual vacations? could we step away from the things that cause emotional stress in our lives. can we take mini emotional vacations every week? just to refresh us.
spiritual vacations. is that even an actual thing? are we taking a vacation from our spirituality or are we just creating an environment where we refresh ourselves spiritually? just gets me thinking. how can i create those mini-vacations that help to keep me refreshed?
why do vacations work? what is it about them that refreshes us? my outlook on work after i came back was much happier. it just makes me wonder. something in our brains just changes tune when we remove ourselves from the places that cause us stress. yes, that stress is still there, but we have gone away from it for a while. we are doing something else that takes our minds off of the hardship.
but are physical vacations the only things that work. could we just do emotional vacations? what about spiritual vacations? could we step away from the things that cause emotional stress in our lives. can we take mini emotional vacations every week? just to refresh us.
spiritual vacations. is that even an actual thing? are we taking a vacation from our spirituality or are we just creating an environment where we refresh ourselves spiritually? just gets me thinking. how can i create those mini-vacations that help to keep me refreshed?
7.08.2010
moments
it moves..it stops...it slows and speeds.
it actually goes the same all the time, but it seems to fly or go tortuously slow. in those fast times how do we pull every bit of wonderfulness out of those monents. life is made out of moments. a journey of moments. a journey is probably my favorite way to describe life and living and yet all these little moments and glimpses make up that journey.
some we miss because we are too busy with ourselves. others we wish that we would miss. but all of these moments have a part to contribute to our lives. they make us who we are. parts of us would be missing without them.
and you know what. i am thankful for them. god has blessed me with these moments, good and bad. he is making me into a unique person to do his work. sometimes it is hard to be thankful for some moments, but they do have an undeniable impact on who we are.
it actually goes the same all the time, but it seems to fly or go tortuously slow. in those fast times how do we pull every bit of wonderfulness out of those monents. life is made out of moments. a journey of moments. a journey is probably my favorite way to describe life and living and yet all these little moments and glimpses make up that journey.
some we miss because we are too busy with ourselves. others we wish that we would miss. but all of these moments have a part to contribute to our lives. they make us who we are. parts of us would be missing without them.
and you know what. i am thankful for them. god has blessed me with these moments, good and bad. he is making me into a unique person to do his work. sometimes it is hard to be thankful for some moments, but they do have an undeniable impact on who we are.
7.01.2010
little blessings
well, an infamous time is upon me. it has been a year since i have been back from germany. the year has been full of heartache, pain, rejection and many other hardships. to lay it straight. it has sucked.
a pretty depressing way to lead off. i know, but there is light ahead in your reading. yes my overall situation is less than fun and has brought a lot of pain, BUT. buts are usually bad yet this time it is good. in fact maybe i should use the word 'yet' as my transition word. doesn't have the negative connotation. enough of grammar.
i have noticed over the past little while that it seems that there are little blessings coming my way. for example, this year mark, i knew would be emotional hard for me, yet on the weekend of the mark, i get to see a dear friend from colorado that is passing through. with him and other bfa friends, i will experience a weekend of happiness.
some other recent little blessings. i got to boston to see some dear friends and be loved on. i went to albany to talk about and help the lives of people far more disadvantaged than i. having a weekend of minute to minute reminders that the world is so much bigger than us is good.
and the blessings will keep coming with the ability to go to a wedding of two dear friends. thank you, mind the gap, for this ability.
so these little gaps come and make life just a bit more survivable. overall, still really hard and hurting but a breath of fresh air every once in a while.
are there little blessings in your life?
a pretty depressing way to lead off. i know, but there is light ahead in your reading. yes my overall situation is less than fun and has brought a lot of pain, BUT. buts are usually bad yet this time it is good. in fact maybe i should use the word 'yet' as my transition word. doesn't have the negative connotation. enough of grammar.
i have noticed over the past little while that it seems that there are little blessings coming my way. for example, this year mark, i knew would be emotional hard for me, yet on the weekend of the mark, i get to see a dear friend from colorado that is passing through. with him and other bfa friends, i will experience a weekend of happiness.
some other recent little blessings. i got to boston to see some dear friends and be loved on. i went to albany to talk about and help the lives of people far more disadvantaged than i. having a weekend of minute to minute reminders that the world is so much bigger than us is good.
and the blessings will keep coming with the ability to go to a wedding of two dear friends. thank you, mind the gap, for this ability.
so these little gaps come and make life just a bit more survivable. overall, still really hard and hurting but a breath of fresh air every once in a while.
are there little blessings in your life?
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