Far far away

So much has happened since I last stopped in here. I need to stop in more often, even for a shorter stop. Just to let y'all know that I am alive and that life is good.

I love snow. It has been snowing for the last week. Pretty much everyday has brought an accumulation of snow. It is just gorgeous although a little odd due to the fact that BFA is on spring break. I guess not to springy for us yet. It will come though. It should bring a beautiful spring. I love all kinds of weather that brings out the beauty of creation. Snow falling may be my favorite though. Especially in streetlight. It looks so clean when it is fallen and is also fun to throw at people.

Maybe one day I will have someone special to walk through the snow with. As for now, I will just enjoy the friends that I have been given. Some of these people I only have the next two months to spend with before they move back to many different areas of the US and I stay here in Germany.

Time is precious and every moment should be as good as it can be.

As the snow falls...

It is snowing and so beautiful. Glad that I get to live in such a beautiful place. Friends come and go and some friends come back. A friend that was here in Germany with me last year is back for a few days. So very thankful that I get to see her and at the same time missing my dear friends from back in the states.

The hard and easy part of living overseas. I am so grateful for the people that I get to share this experience with. It is hard sometimes and being very thoughtful right now is causing me to miss people.

So to all of you back in the states. I miss you deeply and am very fortunate to know you.

Encouragement

I have been thinking about encouragement and correction lately. Have you noticed that many times when correction is given, there are specific items and instances mentioned of when something wrong was done. Eg: When you drove you car you are supposed to use your turn signal.

When encouragement is given it is very general. Eg: You are a good driver.

I wonder if by making encouragement general, we trivialize it. I wonder how much more appreciated it would be if we encouraged people while using specific instances.

So I was sitting in a coffeeshop in Basel, Switzerland...

Man, it is fun to start a post like that. You would think that after living here for a year and a half and being only 30 minutes from Basel, that it may get comfortable, but it still feels pretty cool. Wow, I am blessed.

Anyway, I got my coffee and then walked upstairs to find a seat. I found a comfortable one and sat down in it. There was a man reading the newspaper on the other side of our little coffee table. I was getting my book out and his friend came over and went to sit down, but then realized that there were some comfortable chairs for both of them across the room. So they got up to move.

Now up until now we had just exchanged a couple of glances. But as he left, he was very polite and wanted to acknowledge that he was leaving me by myself so we had a very short, typically German conversation. He wished me a schoenen abend (Beautiful evening), smiled and walked away.

Danke, gleichfalls.

News

Heath Ledger died.

Over 650 people have died in Kenya in the last month.

Voting

So I did a blog on politics and it stirred up a lot more than I was expecting. First off I want to say that I picked Mike Huckabee, not to pick on him, but because he was the candidate that most of the people in my circle have been supporting. Since mostly people in my circle read this blog, I figured I would be relevant to that. Most of the people reading this aren't supporting Obama or Clinton so it wouldn't have really mattered to write a post on why I don't agree with them. I have nothing against Mike Huckabee.

But this whole thing goes to a bigger issue. I don't feel like I can support any of the candidates that are currently running in the two party system that we have. Many of them, including Mike Huckabee, seem to have many good points, but there are just things that they support and believe that I just can't support. I understand that I will agree with no candidate completely and many people adopt the 'vote for the least bad one' strategy. I just can't bring myself to do that.

So what do I do? I haven't found anyone that I can support, and I believe strongly that I should vote. The only option that I can come up with right now is to do heavy research and find a candidate from another party other than the two big ones. That candidate won't win, but I can probably in a good conscience vote for him or her.

Clarification

I want to clarify the last post. It is one person's opinion(me) about whether or not I agree with another person(Huckabee). Just my thoughts on quotes I found on his website. I don't mean any of the statements to be an accusation of the US. I love the states and am very glad that I am a US citizen. I think that the US does a pretty good job in the position it is in the world. It is hard to be the big guy.

Politics

I almost never step into the realm of politics, but it seems that in certain circles, Mike Huckabee is being hailed as the one to like and vote for. This is long and hopefully doesn't become too much of a soapbox, but these are things that I feel, some very strongly about and others less so. Following are some reasons why I cannot support him. All quotes are taken from his website.

HEALTH CARE:
...We don't need universal health care mandated by federal edict or funded through ever-higher taxes...It consumes about 17% of our gross domestic product, easily surpassing the few European nations where spending is close to 10% and far higher than any other country in the world...
After living in Germany I have seen universal health care work and he states right here that it is cheaper in Europe. The US has attempted to fix health care privately for too long. Maybe we should realize that our European friends might have figured something out.

BORDERS:
...I strongly oppose the economic integration of North America that would have open borders among the United States, Canada, and Mexico. I know we must have closed and secure borders...
With the global environment that is happening, this type of secludist talking will get us nowhere. There are many good things that we can learn from other countries.

IRAQ:
...Setting a timetable for withdrawal is a mistake. This country has never declared war until "a week from Wednesday," we have always declared war until victory...
I could have put his entire page on Iraq here. I cannot support someone who still thinks that we should have gone in or need to stay in Iraq. There isn't even a thought of how to get out of another sovereign country that we should have left alone.

MILITARY:
...I will expand the army and increase the defense budget...
You have got to be kidding me. People are starving on the street and we can't even get health care or help these African nations, but we need to spend more money on the military. Let's get our priorities straight and start caring about people, not taking over people.

ISRAEL:
...As President, I will always ensure that Israel has access to the state-of-the-art weapons and technology she needs to defend herself from those who seek her annihilation...
It is amazing how Israel stays perfect as the country bombs Palestine and Palestine is always the bad country. Maybe we should reevaluate.

HUMAN RIGHTS:
...The United States must continue to lead the world in condemning the human rights abuses inflicted on the Cuban people...
Why can we torture people as much as we want but than claim to be clean. We should clean up our act before condemning other countries.

GUN CONTROL:
...I consistently opposed banning assault weapons and opposed the Brady Bill...
Still don't understand why people need to walk around with assault weapons. This might be a good thing to ban.

These are some issues that cause me to not be able to support him.

What Love Could Be

She came in from the cold. Wet!
Dropped her luggage bags; looked the concierge in the eye
And said ‚I need a room for the night but I don't got no money.
Will you take payment in kind?
He said ‚ alright. I've got a room here you can share mine.

Make the bed in the morning and that'll do fine.
You can change in the bathroom, hang your clothes on the line‚
A tear came to here eye as she thought‚ How could he be so kind

She sat down on the bed with a needle
He said I'd hate to see you bleed
I'll just fetch a warm towel and sit with you till your dry
She started to cry saying ‚Why‚ why, why

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness!

She was cold turkey. He was holding her hand.
She said I was ruined by a man‚ and this was never in my plan,
I dreamed of men who loved me together we'd see the world
But somehow I lost myself among the insults they hurled

I'm sure you're a wonderful woman, and someday there'll surely be someone
So just relax now. It's important that you're calm
She said‚ how is it you can see past me as I am

Consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness!

When you took your chances it was like you placed a bet
And sometimes this is the reward you can get
I was always taught when you see someone defiled
You should look them in the eye and smile
Take their hand or better still, take them home. Home. Home?

She awoke early in the morning made the bed gathered up her clothes to leave
Saw the concierge curled on the settee
And said what you did for me is hard for me to believe

I was just doing what was right.
No one that knows love could leave you out there on such a night.
If you can help someone bear this in mind
and consider it an indiscriminate act of kindness
-Foy Vance

Sort of...forgot

So something interesting happened this year. I forgot that it was Christmas. HOW CAN YOU DO THAT!!! you ask. I don't know. The break at school here started a week and a couple days ago. After the students left, we had to take down the Christmas tree so that the dining room and living room floor can be replaced. That is a very weird feeling to take down a tree ten days before Christmas.

So along with that, many other things have gone on. Last Monday, I was able to go to Adelboden, Switzerland. I spent from Monday to Friday there. A bit of a vacation. Amazingly beautiful, but there was no sign of Christmas and it was just a relaxing time, crashing from the semester.

Anyway, that brings me to Friday/Saturday. I had just gotten back from Adelboden and was thinking about what the next two weeks would hold. Then someone mentioned that it was December 22. WHAT!!! Three days before Christmas!! I had no clue and didn't feel like it was close to Christmas.

I don't know what makes it feel like Christmas for me, but clearly I missed something this year. So yeah, I forgot Christmas.

Confession time is over. It is now Christmas eve and it still doesn't feel quite like Christmas, but I am getting there. So in the spirit of the season.

Merry Christmas!!

Can't get more cheesy

This post is for proteinstar. I think I may have tracked down the cheesiest love song of the 80s and so with no further ado...

Richard Marx-Right Here Waiting
Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I cant get near you now

Oh, cant you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
Ill take the chance

Oh, cant you see it baby
You've got me going crazy

Whom do you compare yourself to?

Been thinking a lot lately and wondering if I do some things to the ability that other people do them or if I do it to the best of my ability. A couple of examples. This is supposed to be a stressful and exhausting time of year here in the dorm in Germany. So I am tired and stressed. Is that because of how I actually feel or is it how I am supposed to feel?

There are some job parameters here and I have been doing okay at them, but not great. I think that many people around me have also been doing okay. So my question is if I am doing just enough to be equal with other people or am I doing my best.

In both these situations, I don't believe that I am doing the best that I can. I think and know that I can do better and that I am not extra-ordinarily tired. Tired, yes, but still got lots to give. I can do better and half to do better. It is not acceptable to just ride the middle. I am called to be exceptional, not normal.

And dang it, if someone asks how I am doing, the answer that follows should good or great. On rare days, a bad is okay, but the norm should be positive. Enough of this stupid negativity. Time to be positive.

Stay

I've been left thinking
where do i belong
Everything that's happened here
seems now so wrong
I'm asking the questions
i'm not sure I want the answers to
In the searching i've found
what i'm sure is true

When the flower blooms
When the spring birds tune
All the beauty in your soft warm face
Slowly brings everything into place

All i need and all i want
is to be with you
To know the end before the beginning
removes all mystery
What seemed so simple may be so wrong
What seems right may not be true
If there's anything i needed to know
it's not easy to see

For you to be here is what i would love
Yet not knowing you is not reason to grieve
The request that seems so simple to make
It's in your heart where i want to stay

Such ado

Okay, so i got to get away before I get too much of a hard time. So what to write about. Something positive like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. Oh yuck, that is pretty pathetic too. What about pulling whiskers off kittens. That sounds a bit more masculine. :-)

Laying awake and thinking is not my idea of fun. I really wish that I could sleep better. Haven't been able to sleep well for the last couple of weeks. Grr. So frustrating. A couple of nights have been wonderful, but overall, stinkiness.

It is beautiful today. Nice snow falling from the sky. It didn't lay down where we are, but looking up the hill you can see the snow line. We got snow falling which is wonderful though. Beautiful German architecture and simple life.

Isn't that where true enjoyment of life is? In the simplicity. Even in the fancy crazy things that we do, I would bet that the thing that makes it so enjoyable is very simple like a person laugh or their smile or beauty. Or a nice conversation with a lovely, soft....

Anyway. Have a wonderful week and I hope the su(o)n shines on you. It is now. Haven't seen it for a couple of weeks. nice to see it now though.

Love

I just want to be loved. That is where I am right now. Life is so confusing. Relationships are so confusing. I feel like I have been messing everything up that I could possibly. But in the end, I just want to be loved.

Yes in a generic way, loved. But also in a more specific way. It sounds completely cheesy, but I want that romantic kind of love. Maybe it is out there for me. I miss it and haven't experienced it in a long time. Go ahead and pick on me for this one. But it is me being honest. Maybe to a fault, but it is what it is.

Processing

I am a verbal processor. I sometimes have many things on my mind and at other times my mind is nice and free to glide. Some things are not really possible to process with other people due to their personal nature or other type of sensitivity. So how as a verbal processor do those things get processed. I don't know.

I have one of those issues right now. Something that I don't feel the freedom to just talk about with anyone, but yet I feel the need to process and think through it. I have sort of stuck myself in my own hard place.

What to do...what to do...

Things that make you happy

I don't know what I am trying to say except that I am happy. I was made to feel special over the last couple days and some relationships have been going very well. So things are going very well. What a wonder a weekend off can be. Have a great day.

More coming in the next couple days. I spent Veterans day in Bastogne and it was a very poignant experience.

Snowing

Well, for the second time this year, it is snowing and has been snowing off and on all day. We probably got an inch, but then it melted. And it has kept on snowing since. It is amazing how pretty quiet it gets when it is snowing and covers everything with white. So pure and new. it just makes you feel fresh. Get some good sleep and I will be set.

We still got some white stuff on the ground, but mostly it is just falling right now. I have broken the Christmas music out and am enjoying it with the snow and a glass of wine that I had earlier. What a wonderful afternoon. I love snow and mixing it with the fall colours that are out are amazing.

Have a wonderfully beautiful day.

Why do I Blog?

What a question. Sometimes I am not sure that I know the answer to this question. Lately I have been wondering if I am a negative blogger. That definitely makes me curious. I think that I can be, because there isn't always a lot to process about positive things and I use blogging to process. But that doesn't mean that it is a good way to do things.

Maybe I blog to share things, or maybe I just want to know that people out there in cyberspace just may have an inkling of understanding. Most of all, I think I just process in blogging and that is mostly my only purpose in doing so. This post is part of that and I am striving not to talk negatively even though I am having a crappy day.

Peace all.

Movies

I watched 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' tonight. I started out laughing, but as the movie went on, I just got bored. I think I know it too well. I also think that the movie has become funnier to quote than to watch. I love quoting the movie or hearing others quote the movie. We laugh out loud as we just go back and forth.

I wonder how many movies are like that. Movies known so well that the talking about them is the funny part.