If people only knew me...

Here I am again, in this place again...

It has been a pensive day or so. Thinking about why I do the things I do, say the things I say and hide things. Scared is part of it. I don't know, I don't really have anything figured out. And I don't want people to judge me. People will or won't whether or not I want them to. But I say something and come out sounding much sure about it than I actually am.

I put on this guise to keep myself sounding sure. I don't know though and many of the things that I say are some of the things that I struggle with most. It is hard. I want to be open but to be open is to be hurt. I want people to respect me so I stay out of their way. And in the end I am no better for it.

I have my thoughts but do people really want to know them. Am I really worth their time? The answer should be yes, but it isn't. What is this all about? My incredible and utterly inept brokenness.

And I can't fix it.