4.30.2011

Too Many Weddings

i am not okay being single. i don't like it. i am not content. i feel lonely and missing that relationship that almost all of my friends have. and my family members all have. i was again reminded of my singleness while watching the royal wedding full of glamour and happiness..or so it appeared.

yes i am a bit grumpy about it. but i am single. this is where i am. something i can do things about and not do things about at the same time. so i have to deal. i have to be content. either whine about it or just live life. maybe a bit of both. i don't know why i have this trial, but i have to trust that there is a reason. without that hope, life would be too dark. i can't let thoughts about being unlovable sneak in. that would not help anything.

so this is where i am. i don't like it, but here i am. now that i am at the end i don't see a point. maybe just a need for expression after a really sucky week. although there is no end in sight for any of the trials. ugh. i've been sighing a lot lately.

1 comments:

Mindy said...

hear, hear! in addition to all this wedding hoopla, I also get to attend a baby shower tomorrow. here's hoping I wake up tomorrow full of joy for my friend.