Thanks

I wish that I was more appreciative. It is funny that we only tell people how much we appreciate them when we are put in an environment where we are told to. That is not always true, but it definitely is true for me more than I want it to be.

So...I appreciate you all. This goes to all those people that I know...not everyone out in the big wide internet.

In Deutsch

Ich spreche ein bisschen Deutsch.

Ich heisse in Marzell, Deutschland.

Ich liebe alles.

Es ist ein schön tag!

Schlaft gut!

I'm irked

I am irritated today. Bad stuff started when I woke up and it keeps happening. It is frustrating. I feel like I am stuck in this cycle. I wish I good go to sleep, wake up again and start over. I need to end this, but things keep happening. And I am getting more and more irritated.

And then it starts. I get irritated at myself for being irritated. Grrr. I don't really know what to do with this. I just need to...I don't know. Maybe be totally emo and write a song about it. Dashboard Confessional part 2.

If people only knew me...

Here I am again, in this place again...

It has been a pensive day or so. Thinking about why I do the things I do, say the things I say and hide things. Scared is part of it. I don't know, I don't really have anything figured out. And I don't want people to judge me. People will or won't whether or not I want them to. But I say something and come out sounding much sure about it than I actually am.

I put on this guise to keep myself sounding sure. I don't know though and many of the things that I say are some of the things that I struggle with most. It is hard. I want to be open but to be open is to be hurt. I want people to respect me so I stay out of their way. And in the end I am no better for it.

I have my thoughts but do people really want to know them. Am I really worth their time? The answer should be yes, but it isn't. What is this all about? My incredible and utterly inept brokenness.

And I can't fix it.