many thoughts have been going through my head. i don't know how to put them down or what to say, but here goes.
-i have been intrinsically aware of my singleness over the past couple of days. along with this has come a longing for this to no longer be the case. a longing to walk through this journey with someone else. to share my life and experiences. to have someone who values me and loves me in my worst and my best. i am 32 and it is getting harder and harder to stay content in this area.
- i don't feel like my life situation has changed in the last 6 months. people ask what's new. i don't have anything. nothing changed and that is hard because i am not content or happy with where i am. i definitely acknowledge that the last sentence is a problem and leads to thought number three.
- i am starting to wonder if christians massively misunderstand prayer. these things that we view as promises are a big misinterpretation of scripture.i have arrived at this conclusion because of the walks and struggles i have had since i moved back from germany. i feel like i have ended up in one spot. either the bible isn't true or we misunderstand the words on the pages.
i know that last statement was heavy, but that has been a true reaction and pondering.
4.14.2010
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3 comments:
I would be interested to have you elaborate on your thoughts of prayer or misunderstanding the Bible. What do you see in others? What do you believe is true instead?
Alright. A basic start.
Matt 21:21-23
Matt 7:6-8
1 John 5:13-15
John 15:6-8
These are some passages that are given and taught in the church with the idea that ask and receive.
If you look throughout history and time and even your own life, you will find circumstances where these passages appear to not be true. Or at least what we have been taught.
Over the past year, I have come to the conclusion that these things simply must be vastly misinterpreted. I cannot come to the place of the Bible not being true. My own circumstances have led me to this place. Either these are misunderstood or God doesn't care. I have gone through too much life to think the latter true.
Another topic throughout the Bible is blessing. This is something else that I just don't see the simple reading of the Bible lining up with life.
Matt, thanks for sharing. I wanted to respond sooner but wanted to first locate a buried book of mine on prayer: The Kneeling Christian.
Most of my initial thoughts are, of course, typical Christian answers, which you have probably thought through. But here are my final thoughts:
I think the encouragement to "ask and receive" is indeed a promise. Of course, God's timing usually doesn't match our timing and it is through that, that faith is built. Do we believe that God is faithful and trustworthy?
In the manner of being single, I am convinced that many of the rich experiences I've had in my life would probably not have occurred if I had been married. God has a purpose for me to be single at this point just as He has a purpose for having me in a job I don't like. However, He knows my prayers and welcomes my prayers and I continue to cry out to Him.
The more I bend my heart/will to His will, I find I receive things I never expected. And as for the things I still desire but haven't received, "rest assured that God never bestows tomorrow's gift today" (isn't that a nice clique-ish ending!).
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