9.27.2007

Serendipity

A fortunate accident. Hm, makes you think. How often do we miss those little signals that we get sent. I think that the all-powerful maker that loves us so much also enjoys sending us signals. Those little signs to warm our day or make us feel special. Maybe they give us direction or just keep us going steady. I am glad that they are there.

Serendipity also is close to the word serenity. Mm.

9.24.2007

Why is it hard?

Do you think that you make a difference? Do you see others making a bigger difference than you. Maybe you just perceive it that way. I don't know but it is right there for me. I wish that the difference I am making was more visible. It would provide real encouragement for me. I need encouragement, but it doesn't always come and I just have to persevere.

I also wish that I was thought of. When people were doing something, it would be wonderful if I was included, but I just got to push off on my own. I hate being on my own. Life just stinks sometimes.

9.10.2007

30

Seems like such a big number. But it is really only a number. And birthdays are funny anyway. You don't feel any different than the day before, but it is definitely celebrated. There are many different reactions from people. You have your friends and family that genuinely want to wish you a happy birthday.

Then you have THOSE people. These are the people that just found out that you are turning 30. They come up to you and say Happy Birthday while cackling and laughing at you. They think that 30 is a funny number and indicates oldness or something. Is it fun to make fun of someone on their birthday.

My birthday started off rough because or some events that created problems. But as the day went on, it got better. My guys sang happy birthday and then grabbed me and threw me into the creek outside the house. It was awesome and refreshing. A great sign of love. Then the dorm across the street brought something over for me. A present and card. Very nice. Girls can be so original and cheesy. It is so fun.

So my birthday ended up much better than it started out. Yeah!

9.03.2007

Disappointment

How to deal with disappointment. Recently, I was sitting an heard an annoucement. It was something that I had known nothing about but it affected me. The announcement basically said that something I had been doing over the last year, I would no longer be able to do. It was something that I greatly enjoyed and found enormous fulfillment in. And I won't have the opportunity to do it this year.

Now this profoundly affected me in an unexpected way. I actually had to walk out and be by myself to collect myself. Now I have to experience the consequences of the decision every week and go through the same disappointment again.

Don't know what to do.