Things Ya Miss

I am around people ALL the time. When you live in a house with 26 guys and staff, that is just how it is. And right now I don't want to be around anyone. It isn't that I am tired of high school kids. I am just tired of only hanging out with high school students. I really would like to hang with people my own age.

It doesn't have to be much. I would just be happy to have a few folks out at a coffee shop, talking and drinking good coffee. There is a depth of conversation and just a comfortableness when being around people your own age. It is not as hard, because we understand each other. No matter how we grew up, we grew up in the same years and there are a lot of common experiences right there.

So rather than just sitting around or watching Monty Python for the umpteenth time, I am typing on the internet. What kind of messed up modern age, mental satisfaction is that?

Do we care?

Jars of Clay just came out with an album which I think is pretty darn good. I wanted to highlight the lyrics of this song. It chilled me the first time I heard it.

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say
Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say
Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say
War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God

Are you in shape?

This past weekend I was in the Alps of Switzerland. While there I was able to watch a bunch of people. And one thing I learned. People there hike everywhere. I have noticed it in Germany too, but not as much. It doesn't even matter what age. Anyone from 6 - 80 is hiking up a mountain. With ease too!

There is not chance that this would happen in the US. And I am one of them. I had 70-80 year old ladies passing me on the hike. I should really work on being in better shape. They keep themselves healthy. They eat healthy and always get exercise. This doesn't mean that they are stick skinny. No matter what their shape, they are able to do many things

Maybe it is something that we need to work on. Stop worrying less about how we look and how much we way and start be concerned about what kind of shape we are in.

It is...really

A post is coming soon. Blogger has been fighting with me all day, but it will happen. Hopefully this will go through.

Peace and love

Them Type A people

Busyness, busyness, busyness.

My word, I have been busy. Who would know that you could be this busy in Germany. Anyway, I have been thinking about personalities. Some personalities get along fine, others do not always mesh well. Yet there are times that we have to mesh with people that we don't necessarily click with.

This can be difficult and to be quite honest, I haven't figured out yet how it works. Any ideas?

It seems like there would be a better solution than just sucking it up and going on with life, but is there a solution for smooth operating interaction.

In other news, go Ravens, Yeah Messiah! and I hope the Yankees lose. Also Cinderella Man is a great movie and the new Jars of Clay album is a good one.

9.11.01

5 years later...

Where were you? Do you still remember? When the first plane hit, I was driving to work listening to Oldies 100 in the DC area. I watched the second plane hit live on tv. It was definitely chilling. I spent the whole day a bit concerned because I was about 8 miles from the Pentagon and in a government facility.

I remember deciding on Wednesday that I would not watch any more news coverage, because it was only doing bad things to me. Wednesday night we had an impromptu church service, praying for people. I remember driving by later and seeing the gaping whole that had been left in the Pentagon from this horror of horrors.

What was the most chilling moment? Seeing people choose to jump from the towers.

A good moment? Seeing people gather around each other to help them however they could.

I know somebody that missed her train so she wasn't at the World Trade Center when the planes hit. Yet almost 3000 people died in the attacks at the WTCs, Pentagon, and Pennsylvania field.

Let us never forget.

Beauty in the eye of the beholder

Well, life goes on. It is funny how life changes. A couple of phone calls and a well placed note or two can just bring you out of your low point. People are cool. I truly believe that we are at our greatest when we are caring. I don't know what it is, but caring seems to bring something a little extra out of us. We seem to forget ourselves and concetrate on helping others. There is something beautiful there.

I was alone...

It has been rough over the last couple of days. I have really been feeling lonely. It is funny when these things hit. This specific part has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I hadn't realized how comfortable of a support structure I had created around me. When I moved to Germany, that all changed.

I just didn't know how much I rely on others for emotional support. Because that is not there and since I have not yet created a new deep structure, it is hard. Nobody to really talk to. When you don't know people real well, it is not always evident that they care. Even if they do, I won't always feel it because that familiarism and trust is not there yet.

Just something else to work through. I am not sure how, but I have to get through it somehow. So think about it and if you have any suggestions, let me know.

Schön

Ever have those things that make you go grrr. I had a big one of those today. I love nature. I know that many of you will give me a fake AW, but oh well. I also have yet to see any sort of large mountain ranges. Neither the Appalachians or the Black Forest really count. There is a tall hill in the Black Forest called Hochblauen. It is between 3 and 4 km from my dorm. It is also one of the higher points in the Black Forest. On a clear day you can see the Alps from the point.

Yesterday was the first sunny day in a while. I was hoping to get people to go with me. Anyway, I made it up after getting lost and going way out of my way. It is still a gorgeous site, but I was unable to see the Alps. Well, I was pooped after a hard hike and being out of shape my muscles were killing me today.

Today people decided to go up. 6 people in fact. And the kicker the Alps were the clearest that they have been in a while. Grrr!!! Not that anyone was to blame, but it is quite depressing that I was unable to see the Alps. Hopefully one day.